I love a good fight. This one is going to be a dandy. With so many political setbacks in the Rust Belt, the Democrats are making a bold power play to win a stronghold in The Bible Belt. Their target is East Cobb County, Georgia, which I affectionately refer to as “The Beverly Hills Of The South”.
I spent my teenage years and early 20’s in East Cobb County, Georgia from 1996-2008. It was a beautiful place and a beautiful time to be in the booming Marietta suburbs, just north of Atlanta. I was there for the good times, and the bad. Like when The Avenues, a posh upscale outdoor mall, opened up on Roswell Road in 2001. I can’t begin to tell you how many beautiful girls I used to take their on dates, watch them model sexy Abercrombie and Fitch clothes. And I was also there for the sad times, like when the Media Play on Johnson’s Ferry closed down (video at bottom of page). The Pope-Walton football game will always be sacred to me (GO GRAYHOUNDS!). I got a tattoo at Psycho Tattoo by The Big Chicken. Oh yeah…I am one of the famous East Cobb Snobbs.
Which is why I have an extra dog in this fight, despite that I’ve been living in Connecticut for the last nine years. I am genuinely intrigued that, of all places, a metro-Atlanta super-suburb has been the battleground chosen by Democrats to attempt to make inroads in the very red Southeast. Don’t kid yourself, Democrats are justifiably desperate to make pickups to offset the losses they’ve continuously sustained since the 2010 midterms. Interestingly, this East Cobb power play by the Democrats could tempt them to make similar power plays in neighboring states. I spent some time in a suburb similar to East Cobb County, but it was a suburb of Birmingham, Alabama. They had the same McMansion designer homes (John Weiland’s I believe), gated communities with tennis courts, well-paved roads, colorful landscaping, etc. They even had an outdoor mall nearly identical to The Avenues, but it was called The Summit. In other words, Democrats might be tempted to go after the suburban parts of the Southeast that have boomed since the mid-1980’s.
But I believe it is all for naught. Ossoff is a political N00B trying to run a vapid campaign with no substance. He is preying off of baby boomers with too much money and not enough education or skills just like a gigolo. At a mere 30 years of age, he is running little more than a milquetoast version of Bernie Sanders campaign, only he’s a Star Wars cosplaying cringy bozo instead of a Jewish geezer. Ossoff has probably taken tons of money from moronic Kennesaw State University students. Hell, he’s probably even banged a few of them. I wouldn’t blame him in the least, but my point is that Ossoff is a political nothing merely tapping into a very unique vein with his brand of BS. The Democrats are running a fool’s errand with this Comedy Central-friendly cuck.
So get ready for a whole avalanche of pro-Ossoff anti-Trump crap, especially if you live in East Cobb County. The Democrats didn’t score the win they so desperately wanted, which in itself should be very troubling to the Ossoff campaign. The Republican vote was split amongst 11 candidates and Ossoff still couldn’t crack 50%. Admittedly, I find such a large Republican field to be a massive risk, but it narrowly paid off. If Ossoff had gotten more than 50%, he would have outright won a House seat back for the Democrats in a powerful district. However, what usually happens in these runoff scenarios is that the candidate that emerges from the wider field is able to rally enough supporters for the win. I could be wrong, but I’m not certain that East Cobb County is quite ready to cut herself up this way and elect a douchey kid. I was there during the George W. Bush years, and Republican support in that area never wavered no matter what idiotic things W. said or did. Fellow East Cobb Snobb and comedian David Cross even joked about this during one of his shows that was later sold on a record (Shut Up You ****ing Baby!, Subpop Records 2001).
No, the media will, as usual, be lying to you when they try to spin this off as a big win for the Democrats. Ossoff didn’t win, and I don’t see a 30 year old cosplaying beta wuss gigolo being elected to run what was once the crown jewel of the south.
East Cobb Snobb 4 ever